Monday, April 23, 2012

The Adventures of Tatum and Kemper


I once had a friend named Jason Joseph Tatum and he and I had many great adventures together. 

It all started back in 2002 when we were preparing to climb a mountain in Spain and out of nowhere a whirlwind of dysfunction came blowing through threatening to destroy us and our trusty emotional pack mule Erasmus. Luckily Tatum came to the rescue with his grappling hook and saved the day. After arriving at the top of the mountain we were faced with another mountain… a mountain of dirty laundry that threatened to consume my friend Jason while he was sleeping on a matchstick cot! Luckily I was able to lead him to safety by coaxing him out of his matchstick induced slumber by threatening to mark off his most precious dream …playing ultimate Frisbee! After awakening my friend we ran around a small village in Spain more times than I can count


 and ended up in the basement of water-logged dungeon where we were forced to do slave labor building stairs and cutting the bottom off closet doors. Unfortunately my friend Jason got a little aggressive with the skill saw and cut the door too short. The task master was very mad so he lined us all up against the wall and was threatening to shoot us when my friend Jason, who has always had a very quick wit, saved the day by telling a really funny joke in Spanish… “Nadda?” 

We caught the nearest plane back to the states and began to climb yet another mountain, Mount Bagwell. If we had known we would be climbing this third and most treacherous mountain I’m sure that my friend would have brought his grappling hook but instead we were forced to clear a path up the mountain with a gas-less chainsaw 

and a second class pack-mule named Quixote. 

After conquering this third mountain, Jason and my wife Allison were so elated that they skipped down the streets of Decatur arm in arm singing “hurray for the Hamilton’s” at the top of their lungs! It was glorious! 

After a fine time of celebration we were off to the plains of Africa where we pondered the evolutionary plight of the Wart-Hog while our good friend Chris pondered the poignant nature of the word pungent .  

 We wrestled Hippos and rode lions bare-back with secret service agents “tomorrow truly was the best day of my life”. We then rode off in to the African sunset!

My friend Jason and I have had many great adventures together and surely many more will follow. I just hope he remembers to bring his grappling hook next time.
Jason Happy 30th birthday! Here's to many more great adventures! 
Kemper

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